The Worst Christmas Gifts Teachers Have Ever Received (Part Two)

Welcome to the second instalment of our worst ever teacher gifts segment.

Previously we revealed monstrosities ranging from valueless gift cards to Currys that smelt like cigarettes. 

This is another corker. Once again we hopped online. Once again I wish we had made these up. We didn’t. They’re that awful. Worse than before!

From the utterly insane to the not-so-bad. Here are 33 of the worst teachers gifts ever received, part Two!

First up. 

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The Outright Insane.

It’s hard to make a defence for some of these. Consequently they sort of transcended categorisation. I ummed and ahhed for a bit before deciding a vague declaration of insanity was probably the most appropriate segmentation. Besides, nothing else would have fit. I’m not really sure what else can be said for these. Read for yourself, they’re totally crazy!

1. “A 2-foot tall porcelain Santa dressed as a Cowboy. I still have no idea why”
2. “A full-sized adult cow costume that I wear every year since”
3. “A creepy drawing of a three-eyed frog”
4. “The cleaned skull of a snow monkey”
5. “A kid photoshopped my head onto Han Solo”
6. “Victoria's Secret lingerie from one of the mothers”
7. “I had a student one year who gave every one of her female teachers a bottle of lotion and every male teacher a large bottle of cologne”
8. “A mug with their child’s picture on it. Sure, he’s a cute kid, but it’s incredibly entitled and I’m never going to use it”
9. “A student wrote me a letter from jail saying that he missed my classes. It included a tooth that he lost in a fight”
10. “A necklace made from human teeth”
11. “A homemade Snowman made from her dad's dirty socks”
12. “A Brony drew me as a Pony”
13. “A mouse branded mat with the logo of the insurance company their dad worked for”
14. “A scarf that a kid stole from their mother’s closet. The kid was 16”

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Diseases.

Kids are infamous for being carriers of all sorts of diseases. Playgrounds are essentially life-sized Petri dishes for the manifestation of various Bacteria and diseases. Nits, coughs. The full monty! Here are a few responses people gave regarding physical illness as a side effect of unintended gift-giving.

1. “The worst gift: A ringworm.”
2. “Covid”
3. “The stomach Flu!”
4. “The worst, the Flu.”
   

What Teachers Really Want.

It wasn’t all disasters. A few were quick to point out the times a student had thoughtfully nailed a gift. That’s not to suggest that the other gifts weren’t thoughtful. It’s just that they pulled off being thoughtful and also not terrible. Quick! Everybody take notes!

1. “I used to work in a rich part of town. One year a parent bought their kids' teacher a Rolex!”
2. “Flowers!”
3. “Thankyou notes are hands down the best gifts. I keep every note I get”
4. “Best gift… amazing socks and a £75 gift card to a local shoe store that sells quality shoes for people on their feet all day”
5. “I got a house plant for Christmas, which bloomed later into a beautiful flower”
6. “A student who never talks in class and barely interacts with me personally bought me a giant Lindt truffle filled with smaller Lindt truffles for my birthday!”
7. “I was elated when kids got me a glass Klein bottle from Cliff Stoll”
8. “Moisturiser”
9. “A sequel to the book we read in class. My student “I couldn’t help myself, but I read it first” He was a struggling reader, so it was extra sweet”
10. “A letter that was handwritten by a student talking about how happy she was to have taken my class”
11. “Some Disney themed toys for my dogs”
12. “A kid 3D printed my favourite Einstein quote onto a plaque.”
13. “Flowers. For no reason. She just thought it would be nice.”
14. “A large assortment of homemade cookies”
15. “Chocolates, Taffy Apples and letters”

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That’s All She Wrote.

I’ve been philosophising on the hysterical potential of anti-gifts all week. Hopefully, besides arousing a giggle, these examples have furnished you with a basket of ideas for what to buy and what not to buy for teachers this festive season. And, if nothing else, provided you with a short burst of entertainment as you embark on whatever it is you’re organising this week. 

And if you feel we missed anything out, or you have your own awful gift experiences to share. Please get in touch with our social media team and let us know your stories. We would be delighted to know!

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